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Fritz: All Fritz
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PARENTS.LZH
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GSD.TXT
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1987-01-14
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All behavior leads somewhere. When you help ';
@5 see the end of @3 behavior in the ';
beginning you help @1 learn a lot about how ';
things go right and how they go wrong. ';
';
Knowing this, @5 is in a better position ';
to know what self-control demands and how to ';
exercise the self-control needed to make things ';
go right. Behavior and self-discipline do not ';
occur in a vacuum or as an internal event. ';
Those around @5 can help encourage this ';
controlled expression by the rewards they give ';
@1 when the control is demonstrated. ';
';
You can make this possible by helping @5 ':
to recognize and to look for the signs of those ';
rewards. ';
';
Playing it safe does not help @3 acquire ';
greater amounts of self-control. ';
The key to this growth is for @5 to ';
assume risks that are realistic. Often more ';
can be learned from an unsuccessful venture than';
from a successful one. Help @5 to ';
realize that the only real failure is the fail- ';
ure to learn from experience. You can do this by';
making the shift from ends alone to the process.';
';
Working with others is a good way to develop ';
self-discipline. ';
You can count on others to provide a constantly ';
shifting set of circumstances. Working with ';
others demands that control be developed to ';
shift behavior when those around @1 shift ';
their behavior. Putting @5 in a posi- ';
tion to have to work with others in order to get';
what they want encourages that control. ';
';
We learn to control our actions in order to make';
sure that things come out the way we want them. ';
However, others may want us to do things ';
differently in order for things to come out the ';
way they want them to. To see this and to ';
understand and develop the control necessary to ';
please others, we must be able to adopt ';
another's point of view. ';
';
This can be encouraged by asking @5 ';
how @3 thinks others feel about what @3 did. ';
';
In many social situations there is behavior ';
that is acceptable and behavior that is not ';
acceptable. Learning what is expected and how ';
to do it gives @5 access to the control ';
necessary to do the acceptable thing when it is ';
called for. ';
The best way to show @1 this is through your ';
example. Show @5 the acceptable behav- ';
ior and when it is done to promote social self- ';
control. ';
Self-control is gained from dealing with ';
others appropriately when they do not do the ';
"right thing" or the thing we would like them ';
to do. ';
';
Learning to tolerate the misbehavior of others ';
without it determining our own behavior is a ';
valuable way to learn the distinction between ';
ourselves and others, as well as to learn the ';
self-control to behave independently of others. ';
Mastery means that what we do is predictable ';
and the outcome assured. ';
';
This comes from knowing how to do something and ';
having the chance elements eliminated or ';
accounted for. ';
';
Adults can help a child acquire mastery by ';
telling or showing a child how to do something ';
and by working to keep things on track. ';
We can better control our behavior when we know ';
clearly and explicitly what is expected of us at';
any point in time. If we want to please, we ';
have a reason to try to meet these expectations.';
';
Clarity guides our actions and enables us to ';
acquire the fine tuning necessary to keep things';
on track. Uncertainty leads to anxiety and a ';
loss of control and motivation. ';
';
';
';
';